Stress

My life is filled with stress, mostly work related. It reaches the point where there is so much to do, I don't know where to start. I try prioritizing but everything seems to scream at the same level - URGENT!

Stress keeps me awake at night and affects my eating. Its one of the worst events in life, this stress, because I don't see an end to it.

So I draw to escape from stress. I can retreat into a state that the rest of the world can't enter. There are invisible walls that are erected which make me oblivious to what is happening externally. Speech, noise, talking, phones, chores all fade when I submerse myself in art. It almost has a meditative quality and I like that, but I feel rather put out when someone insists on dragging me out of the state. In fact, I get quite irritated when they do. Its a bit like being pulled unwillingly from a deep sleep. You function on awakening, but you're not really there. You're back in a dreamstate til reality insists on making you pay attention.

Other people can't understand this ability to 'disappear' and to try to put it into words, they look at you as if you have 10 heads and should be certified to the nearest mental institution. They may have their own way of escaping. Art is mine.

I found an old watercolour which I did years ago. I have always rather liked the looseness of it. It is time to take out the watercolours more often. I am out of practice with them and tend to be too tight and controlled. I need to bring them to that place of escape. They might be freer then.

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